This one’s not so great. . .just. . .meh

On my desk right now:

-One robot-shaped pencil sharpener that walks unsteadily when you twist a pencil in it

-four batteries

-eight empty printer ink cartidges

-sixteen boxes of matches

-one fuzzy rabbit statuette that belongs to my grandma, who I should call more

-seven paintbrushes encrusted with all sorts of dry colors

-one shrink-wrapped block of Colby cheese from a Pepperidge Farms gift basket

-three bottlecaps from beer I didn’t drink

-three unconsumed bottles of beer

-a plastic tower containing several hundred googly eyes of all shapes and sizes

-a painting of a dead-eyed toddler holding fresh flowers

-a painting of my exboyfriend, Robert, who never loved me, probably

-a blue dry-erase marker I remember buying in college

-an unburned candle that is shaped like, and smells decidedly like, a real-life lemon

Outside my house right now:

-my neighbor is having a bonfire alarmingly close to my porch, and I am not invited

-a leather couch is sitting on my porch, waiting to be brought up to the bar, where it will look great, but on my porch it just looks ghetto

-my recycling bin holds about a hundred and twenty beer bottles

-there are three deer standing awkwardly on my front lawn, watching my tree

-there lies, in the road, inexplicably, a large chunk of dirty snow, though it has not snowed here in weeks, and it will not melt, and it is filthy

Today I:

-folded thirty-two bar rags at work

-memorized, again, the fourteen different ways to make a Sazerac, and the one real way to make a Sazerac, and thought of Melissa in New York

-washed twelve dishes

-read my book at Bowbarr for three hours but had to keep moving around the bar because it got really crowded

-looked up from my book at the back of Serpico’s head twelve times and thought of the dream I had last night where he was turned away from me, watching the really long sex scene in Don’t Look Now, and commenting on it a la MST3K and I was sitting silently in the back of the theater, watching the back of his head, exactly like I was doing in the bar at that moment

-borrowed a monkey wrench and didn’t even use it, and then returned it after walking around The ArtsCenter menacingly with it

 

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